I always felt ripped off by the Monday’s Child nursery rhyme. Monday’s and Tuesday’s children were off swanning around being graceful and attractive, hanging out as usual at Friday’s child’s house as they throw another party for Sunday’s child, while poor Wednesday’s child was at home weeping into a cup of Ovaltine.

I was admittedly consoled by the fact that Thursday’s child had lost their bus pass again and Saturday’s child was working a double shift, and it it possible I may have been overly sensitised due to also being a little girl with little curls and thus apparently very, very horrid , but it nonetheless felt that Wednesday’s child drew the particularly short straw in this situation.

Despite living a life of horrid woe, as a child of summer I’ve at least been able to celebrate my birthday at a time of year when the living is easy, the fish are jumping and the cotton is high.

Another child of summer – a boy of summer, if you will – is my BFF C’s little boy who celebrated his very first birthday last January and had a suitably beachy party thrown for him. I was given the honour of making his first ever birthday cake, and I thought it worthwhile sharing the fruits of my googling, planning and baking efforts with you on this first day of summer in case you have a summer’s child, woeful or otherwise, who needs to be taught that sand tastes like biscuits.

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I sometimes think back upon a simpler time. When men were men who poured Solo down their sweaty chests. And women were women who seduced dapper white-suited gents by sitting on grass and eating chocolate that was by it’s very name and nature, flaky, yet managed to maintain the blinding whiteness of their dresses (before the days when you couldn’t answer your front door without fear of being harrassed by the Napisan man, I might add).

No matter how busy you were on a Sunday getting the spoky doke colour arrangement just right on your deadly treadly, or desperately scraping together another 20c after squeezing your Calippo a little too enthusiastically down the beach, you respected the golden rule…

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Hello Sweden, this is Perth calling

18 May 2013
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It’s the time of year when you become one of two types of people – those who carry on their lives without a care in the world, and those who shut themselves away from society, shunning usual pleasures of Facebook and Reddit and madly turning off carelessly left on radios and TVs with their elbows […]

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Squiddly diddly

18 November 2012
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Cooking squid at home can be a bit scary for two reasons – the process of transforming them from looking like little (peacefully sleeping) sea creatures to inanimate tubes ready for the kitchen, and the danger of ending up with conversation-stalling rubbery lumps if you overcook it. Although the cleaning process involves a number of […]

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Margaret River Gourmet Escape – discounted ticket offer

17 October 2012

Spring, it is sprung! Well, it is trying. The spring slinky is not quite at perfectly-down-the-stairs mode, but rather down-a-couple-of-steps-and-then-you-have-to-nudge-it-again mode. Come late November, I am sure our summer clothes will have shed their musty winter smell and we’ll be well into the swing of bragging about our enormous zucchini plants on Facebook (there’s a terrible […]

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They’re heading for the old mill!

26 September 2012
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It wasn’t cider that was calling us but spring weather had finally arrived and we decided to head off on a day trip to York to see what we could see. Country driving confidence is still not what it was pre-crash, but we happily encountered nothing but other Sunday drivers on the ~1 hr 20 […]

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North Perth Seafood Chowder

9 September 2012

Chowder seems to be one of those dishes that causes fisticuffs between one town and another. It is, perhaps, the vanilla slice of New England and Atlantic Canada, with each chowder-maker laying claim to the definitive recipe. The word itself apparently has roots in the Latin word from which we get the word cauldron, and also in […]

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Once upon a cake

3 June 2012
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You remind me of the babe What babe? The babe with the power What power? The power of voodoo Who do? You do! Do what? Remind me of the babe! You know who’s a total babe? My friend Kate. She is also the most impressive fancy dresser I know, proven by her win of best […]

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Kick out the jams

20 May 2012
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So, I think I’ve left sufficient time between blog posts for Hold the Beef to become retro. Ten months is about all it takes these days, yeah? I realised too late that I should have had a Rugs-a-Million style closing down sale or a Farnesy-esque final tour before I disappeared off into the ether, but […]

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My 7 Links

11 August 2011

Firstly, thanks to everyone for your support and donations with my Dry July efforts! It was a long 31 days, and even longer FIVE WEEKENDS but we got through it and well over $2.7 million was raised for adult cancer patients across the country. As wryly noted by Gcroft, I also seemed to give up […]

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