Post image for MaltEaster and a case of the CRAPS

MaltEaster and a case of the CRAPS

April 10, 2011 · 69 comments

Aussie readers, do you remember Tempters? They were to Maltesers like Crunchie is to Violet Crumble, though sadly their 80s ad wasn’t quite up to the same standard as that awesome Crunchie one with Naomi Watts.

It’s just as well really that Tempters were so short-lived, as Cadbury execs would now be cursing themselves for not coming up with a more easily Easter-able name. Sadly for them, as far as religious celebrations go there is little call for Creation themed chocolates (“This Creation Day, give the Eve in your life something worth leaving Eden for”) as much as Easter ones, and Maltesers have this contest in the bag. Or rather, the basket.

You might have seen these MaltEaster bunnies in your local shops lately. Well, more likely since just after Christmas really, but perhaps you’ve only just let your Easter blinkers down after copping a whiff of hot cross bun wafting over from the bakery section.

I was recently sent a little complimentary basket of them to try, and when they arrived in my hot little hands I suspected that they had come to me in a hot little van. Something was amiss…

Something doesn't seem quite right...

Luckily I didn’t have long to contemplate their flat demeanour before another basket turned up the following week, and I was able to compare the different bunny species.

Fat and skinny went to a dance...

Yep, looks like we have a case of Chocolate Runniness Actuated by Postage in Summer. You may recall I have fallen victim to CRAPS in the past with the Foodie Exchange I did with Mardi, and I also remember back to when I was living in Sweden and my Mum sent me a care package that included a box of Tim Tam balls that had all melted together to form a giant mass of chocolate and biscuit that I had to gnaw at.

One of these things is not like the other, one of these things just doesn't belong...

Opening up the foil revealed CRAPS induced bunnicide. Oh dear. Still, there is something quite alluring about that goopy chocolate with the little malty balls ever so slightly revealed. Like when a lady is completely covered except for her ankles, or when a gentleman.. um, ahem.

Harder, better, faster, stronger?

I opened up another non-melty bunny and couldn’t believe my eyes – it was the ultra limited edition Daft Punk Bunny!!!

After dancing D.P. Bunny around for a little while I thought I’d best get a little more intimately aquainted with the other bunnies, and found that the melty/non-melty dichotomy deepened as I did so.

The chocolate of the melted version remained soft and goopy, and the malty innards were a continuation of this – crunchy little malt balls surrounded in a creamy malty goo, then creamy goopy chocolate. The innards of the harder bunny were also very malty, but much drier and pasty – almost a little powdery.

Given that it looked a fair bit drier than in this review by Kath of Gone Chocco,  I suspected that although the fat bunnies had seemingly survived the heat, they had gotten carried away dancing to D.P. Bunny and let themselves get dehydrated.

Goopy melty vs. irresponsible boogier

Despite the fact these bunnies were apparently either deceased or a little under the weather, I actually enjoyed them. I know, I know.. my chocolate of choice is something dark and bitter, but I also must confess to love  for the standard sweet milky variety, and I’m a sucker for anything malty so it’s no surprise these hit a spot after I’d spent all day either cooking in the kitchen or preparing the rest of the house for a rent inspection. I wanted to bust out a glass of Milo to wash them down with to complete the malty quinella.

Would I buy these as a gift? I doubt it. Might I  sneak one in my shopping for some sugary mid-arvo childhood reminiscing? Probably. They are only a dollar and I need to find the partner to D.P. Bunny #1.

Oh, and I got my housemate to try both varieties and she declared the non-melty version to taste like Maltesers, and the melty version to taste like melted Maltesers.

One more time we're gonna masticate, oh yeah, all right, don't stop the chomping

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{ 69 comments… read them below or add one }

OohLookBel April 10, 2011 at 8:37 pm

Oh, those bunnies look so strange! The daft punk one looks like someone’s tried to erase his/her identity. I don’t think I’ll be trying them, though – only 70% cocoa rabbits for me these days.
OohLookBel´s last blog post ..Of winter hats and white wine chicken

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Conor April 10, 2011 at 10:45 pm

Oooh, maybe he’s on the run! From the cops!!! I’m going to get done for being an accessory, ayee!

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Annette @ Wellnesss WA April 10, 2011 at 9:41 pm

You got some lols outta me Conor!

Very lucky to receive such a delight! WOO HOO :D
Annette @ Wellnesss WA´s last blog post ..Cheap – Free- Yoga Classes at Lululemon Enex100- Perth City

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Conor April 10, 2011 at 10:45 pm

Hehe, hooray! Very good to hear :D
I know, it makes a nice change from the bills and endless Engineers Australia magazines.

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penny aka jeroxie April 10, 2011 at 10:30 pm

How sad those bunnies look….. but then you have milo to make it all better
penny aka jeroxie´s last blog post ..Decadence 19th Century Dinner at the Werribee Mansion

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Conor April 10, 2011 at 10:46 pm

You have to look for the silver linings, don’t you :) I think Milo can make a lot of things better. Hope you have a big tin at home xx

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Bryt April 11, 2011 at 1:13 am

My first thought was that the bunny’s looking the same way a puppy gently gnaws at the corner of a toy at first to test it out. Little nibble of the ears, eyes, stomach. Safety test before devour.
On a holiday note, I lurrrrve it when chocolate companies actually make the chocolates shape holiday related rather than just throw cute packaging on.

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Conor April 12, 2011 at 12:11 pm

I’ll happily be compared to a puppy :D

Yes, very good call! It takes no thought to bung together some themed packaging but when you’ve got a special shape it adds a lot. Makes it taste totally different. I don’t care if it’s all in my head.

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Gourmetgetaways April 11, 2011 at 6:42 am

Seems you’ve got some real jive bunnies on your hands. I am afraid if the melted one had of turned up in the post at me place I would have cut off a corner of the packaging and sucked and squeezed the little bunnies contents out of it’s packet. I used to do this to melted chocolate bars as a kid. I love melted chocolate!

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Conor April 12, 2011 at 12:13 pm

The sucky/squeezy option did come to mind, but this way there was minimal chocolate loss to being stuck on the foil (well, not that it would have been above me to lick it off, I admit).

There’s something quite decadent about melted chocolate and the way it sticks fabulously to everything. I spent a couple of hours yesterday without realising I had re-solidified chocolate stuck on my arm from baking :|

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Bryt April 12, 2011 at 7:42 pm

Lol I’m going to admit, I still do that to melted choc bars :P Kind of addictive really!

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Conor April 14, 2011 at 4:08 pm

I can imagine you “accidentally” leaving chocolate bars in your car, in your pocket, near the oven ;)

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Pachecopatty April 11, 2011 at 7:47 am

These bunnies look like they’ve had a short but hard life while here on earth.
Thankfully they aren’t aware of their lot in life;-)

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Conor April 14, 2011 at 4:09 pm

And they had such a lovely, delicious wake :D

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Meggy April 11, 2011 at 9:29 am

Did they have the typical easter taste?
Theres always something about easter egg chocolate that tastes about a trillion times better than normal chocolate – i wonder if they put cocaine or something addictively delicious in it to make it so tasty. Is it the typical foil wrappings that provide that irresistably sugary smell? i dont even know.
I prefer my easter chocoalte either crispy shell like or trufflely moreishnessness

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Conor April 14, 2011 at 4:12 pm

I didn’t particularly notice any cocaine overtones, but I think the lack of the easter egg type of foil perhaps detracted from the extra eastery taste.

Oh lord I just remembered something – a guy I liked in primary school gave me an easter egg one year and I kept the wrapper! Ha! Don’t worry, it is now long gone.

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Adrian in Food Rehab April 11, 2011 at 11:28 am

Nice Easter pressie! But…ah melted? No worries, check em in the microwave for a few secs to melt them more then spreac on some Glicks bread or similar. Yum… You may curse me now, but wait till you try it. LOL
Adrian in Food Rehab´s last blog post ..Taste of Chiva-Som Cooking Classes at ISIKA Spa- Crown Metropol

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Conor April 14, 2011 at 4:15 pm

Oh man Adrian, you are BAD! That is a brilliant idea. Terribly terribly brilliant.

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Apex@blueapocalypse April 11, 2011 at 12:15 pm

Daft Punk Bunny!

After reading this post I have in my head

Around the world, around the world
Around the world, around the world
Around the world, around the world
Around the world, around the world

Maybe you could create a stop motion animation of the bunnies doing the dance in the music video?

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Conor April 14, 2011 at 4:16 pm

That is such a good idea. Such a good idea for someone less lazy than myself.

Anyway, I don’t have time to become the next youtube sensation ;)

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Kath Lockett April 11, 2011 at 12:55 pm

Oh Conor – your bunnies – even the one who is supposedly on the right side of ‘good’ doesn’t look in the best of health.

He should be crunchy with a paste inside – a nice little dance between crispy and creamy. Clearly these little guys don’t travel well :P

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Conor April 14, 2011 at 4:17 pm

Yeah, I thought something was amiss in the good guy, and this was confirmed when I saw your evidence!

I think this means they must be consumed in the car trip on the way home from the shops?

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Lorraine @ Not Quite Nigella April 11, 2011 at 5:53 pm

Aww no poor bunnies! I got these but found them way too sweet. I couldn’t finish mine. And I know how ironic that sounds given how many cakes I can eat lol

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Conor April 14, 2011 at 4:19 pm

Wowsers Lorraine, that *is* saying something! Hmmm… how many cakes had you already eaten that day? ;)

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Cakelaw April 11, 2011 at 8:15 pm

LOL – once again, a witty, fun post. I have tried the non-melty version and declared it good, but not as good as Maltesers themselves.

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Conor April 14, 2011 at 4:20 pm

Thank you!

I think I might agree with you – I like the big crunchy bits of normal Maltesers, and there’s something good about balls :D

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Hannah April 11, 2011 at 8:19 pm

I have a strange feeling that your housemate might be a genius. Her interpretation Blew. My. Mind.

Also, is it bad that the idea of a giant melted-then-fused tim tam lump that must needs be gnawed at has made my tummy go “whoop”?

Whoop! Whoop whoop! (Oh, wait, now I feel like I’m back in Rock Eisteddfod.)

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Conor April 14, 2011 at 4:23 pm

I thought you’d appreciate it. I think you might have some competition on your hands if she decides to start writing chocolate reviews. I’ll do my best to dissuade her from this task.

I still think fondly of that Tim Tam lump. It was a bit sad that it made them pretty much unsharable, but this was also a secret good quality of them.

WHOOP WHOOP!

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Evelyne@CheapEthnicEatz April 12, 2011 at 4:15 am

You got dead bunnies in the mail? How awful lol. Ah sorry you complimentary treats got destroyed by the summer heat. My closest experience was with a foodie exchange too….an exploded glass bottle of BBQ sauce. Nice!
Evelyne@CheapEthnicEatz´s last blog post ..A Birthday Feast through Italy

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Conor April 14, 2011 at 4:25 pm

The sooner someone invents magical food transportation boxes (that are really cheap and perhaps also sparkly and attractive) the better!!

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Karen Harris April 12, 2011 at 4:47 am

So funny! Your post has now thrown me into a severe Malteser craving. Yes, we have something similar here but substandard in comparison (as you can tell I have the same chocolate taste as a child). I guess it is off to the nearest import market to pay $5 for a small bag. Thanks Conor!
Karen Harris´s last blog post ..Chana Masala for the Birthday Girl

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Conor April 14, 2011 at 4:27 pm

Hooray for import markets for allowing us to see these cravings through, but boo to the crazy prices they charge!

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5 Star Foodie April 12, 2011 at 5:29 am

Aww, such a shame, especially about the melted bunny :(

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Conor April 14, 2011 at 4:27 pm

Ah well, ’tis something you get used to round these parts! :)

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Mother April 12, 2011 at 8:59 am

Conor, should test drive Kinnerton’s Bubbly Bunny (Target $1) – see how they shape up.

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Conor April 14, 2011 at 4:28 pm

Oooh, an Eastery version of the bubble Santa! I will definitely be hunting this down, those Santas were great.

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Monica April 12, 2011 at 1:02 pm

Tee hee :) There is definitely a lesson in sugar science here!

I always wonder if a lot of R&D goes into seasonal chocolate bar releases or do they just get any old mould out of a factory in China and go hell for leather?
Monica´s last blog post ..Green Tea &amp Azuki Hot Cross Buns

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Conor April 14, 2011 at 4:30 pm

That’s for sure, Monica, I think there’s a lesson here for all of us ;)

I also think we need to do some R&D of our own into chocolate industry R&D!

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msihua April 12, 2011 at 9:42 pm

I WANT A DAFT PUNK BUNNY!!!! Jealous.. hahahahaha
msihua´s last blog post ..Dongpo Pork Braised Pork Belly Recipe – A Dark Version

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Conor April 14, 2011 at 4:31 pm

With a bunny and some carefully applied heat, you can too! Or with some magic, perhaps.

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Juliana April 13, 2011 at 4:32 am

Honestly, your bunnies look kind of scary :-( I hope you have a great week!

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Conor April 14, 2011 at 4:32 pm

Don’t worry Juliana, they’re all gone now :)

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Magic of Spice April 13, 2011 at 10:33 am

The poor bunnies :(

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Conor April 14, 2011 at 4:34 pm

They should have known better – we’re not very kind to pest species in this country ;)

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Maria @ Scandifoodie April 13, 2011 at 3:58 pm

We don’t have Easter bunny in Finland, this was a whole new thing for me when I moved to Australia. I still don’t think there needs to be chocolate at Easter! :-)
Maria @ Scandifoodie´s last blog post ..Going through some changes – Spiced rice milk drink

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Conor April 14, 2011 at 4:38 pm

I didn’t get to experience Easter when I was living in Sweden (wrong time of year) so the go-to part of my brain for Scandinavian things is empty for all things Eastery! It’s funny how what we grow up with becomes so ingrained in what feels “right” at different times of the year :)

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Sweets by Vicky April 13, 2011 at 10:40 pm

Been dying to try the Malteasters! Saw them in Gourmet Traveler and OMG i was on the plane back from HK and felt this insane need for the honeycomb airy crunch. MMM. yum. Think I’ll have to get my boyfriend to buy me some for when I’m back in Melb!!
Sweets by Vicky´s last blog post ..Vegan Chocolate Fudge Cookies

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Conor April 14, 2011 at 4:41 pm

Yes get him to stock up!! Just tell him not to keep them anywhere that might get hot :|

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Penny April 14, 2011 at 12:59 am

Chocolate Bunnies! We are getting ready for some of those shortly, but hopefully they will not look like yours, I guarantee!

Penny
Penny´s last blog post ..How To Grow Coffee Beans

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Conor April 14, 2011 at 4:45 pm

I hope so too Penny!

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Kitchen Butterfly April 14, 2011 at 4:31 am

CRAPS…..well explained. Thank you for adding a new word to my lexicon! I like the inspired look of the bunnies though….and int he end, its all chocolate, right?

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Conor April 14, 2011 at 4:48 pm

My pleasure, Oz! You’re very right, chocolate is chocolate no matter what state of solidity it may be in :)

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tasteofbeirut April 14, 2011 at 11:40 pm

You remind me of Seinfeld (the comedian) making a story out of this; like them little bunnies, no matter how they look! :)

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Conor April 16, 2011 at 5:47 pm

If you’ll excuse me, I’m off to write a TV pilot that will make me millions!

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Arwen from Hoglet K April 15, 2011 at 10:56 am

It’s a very cute idea! Probably more of a novelty than a gift from the Easter Bunny, but definitely fun.

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Conor April 16, 2011 at 6:03 pm

I’ll keep awaiting my gift from the Easter Bunny :)

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Trix April 15, 2011 at 7:29 pm

Even though, as a non-Aussie, I had exactly zero idea what you were talking about in the first paragraph, you had me at CRAPS and that carried me through to the rest of your hilarious post. Poor little melty balls.

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Conor April 16, 2011 at 6:04 pm

Oh but I thought we adopted you as an honorary Aussie? No? We’ll have to book you in for that brainwashing session to properly Aussify you up. Let me know when you’re free and I’ll see what spots we have available. You might need to travel a little way, that’s all.

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mademoiselle délicieuse April 16, 2011 at 8:37 am

And although I like my chocolate dark and shiny too, I can’t resist malt-flavoured things…Horlicks, anyone?
mademoiselle délicieuse´s last blog post ..Firefly Lodge Lane Cove

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Conor April 16, 2011 at 6:05 pm

I know, it just sucks you in! Yes, Horlicks! I discovered this for the first time in Canada when on a malty mission, and made lots of muffins out of it. I guess that made it a malty muffin mission in Montreal :D

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foodie cravings April 16, 2011 at 7:59 pm

Oh yum…I love melted chocolate…especially milk and with malt!! Craving chocolates majorly now…which isn’t good as there’s two bars of rocky road sitting in the lounge which I’ve been avoiding all day!!

My other half loves maltesers so def getting him some of these bunnies for Easter :) and I’ll make sure to keep them out of the sun so they don’t look like yours!

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Conor April 18, 2011 at 10:53 pm

I wish I had two bars of rocky road sitting in my lounge! Speaking of such, my housemate is such a champion, I bow down to her. Got her a Darrell Lea rocky road egg for easter and she got through it in less than a day! Superstar.

Good luck in your sun avoidance quest!

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Mardi@eatlivetravelwrite April 16, 2011 at 9:38 pm

Thanks for a blast from the past with those ads! And yes, I remember the short-lived tempters LOL! Those bunnies definitely are very strange shapes – even the un-melty ones. I have not seen those here yet – harrumph – though Maltesers aren’t as popular here for some reason – you can’t buy them everywhere yet they are one of my most favourite sweets ever! If you don’t want your melty ones, send em over here!
Mardi@eatlivetravelwrite´s last blog post ..French Fridays with Dorie- Vanilla éclairs on Saturday

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Conor April 18, 2011 at 10:56 pm

I think I even remember preferring them to Maltesers, and being upset when they weren’t around any more, but I also have a feeling like I was saying this to copy someone (probably my sister, I was always copying her) and actually preferred Maltesers.

Ooh, mental note: send Mardi Maltesers next time I’m care packaging…. excellent…

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chopinandmysaucepan April 18, 2011 at 12:51 pm

Think I’ll stick to the old trusty ones! :)

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Conor April 19, 2011 at 8:15 am

If you buy enough of them, you can arrange all the little balls into the shape of a bunny anyway :)

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Forager @ The Gourmet Forager April 18, 2011 at 3:22 pm

What sort of strange stance is that bunny supposed to be doing? I can sort of see a faceless bunny emulating Usain Bolt
Forager @ The Gourmet Forager´s last blog post ..Paddock to Plate- A degustation of beefed up foodblogger creations

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Conor April 19, 2011 at 8:19 am

He’s um, waving at you? Trying to get your attention away from the regular Maltesers?

Good call, I can see them putting out an Olympics bunny next!

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Flang October 4, 2011 at 9:44 pm

The ORIGINAL Maltesers were the Best but unfortunately they were bought out by Mars who changed the recipe. The ORIGINAL producers of maltesers then starting producing Tempters….These tasted just like the ORIGINAL maltesers. Nom Nom NOm

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