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MaltEaster and a case of the CRAPS

April 10, 2011 · 69 comments

Aussie readers, do you remember Tempters? They were to Maltesers like Crunchie is to Violet Crumble, though sadly their 80s ad wasn’t quite up to the same standard as that awesome Crunchie one with Naomi Watts.

It’s just as well really that Tempters were so short-lived, as Cadbury execs would now be cursing themselves for not coming up with a more easily Easter-able name. Sadly for them, as far as religious celebrations go there is little call for Creation themed chocolates (“This Creation Day, give the Eve in your life something worth leaving Eden for”) as much as Easter ones, and Maltesers have this contest in the bag. Or rather, the basket.

You might have seen these MaltEaster bunnies in your local shops lately. Well, more likely since just after Christmas really, but perhaps you’ve only just let your Easter blinkers down after copping a whiff of hot cross bun wafting over from the bakery section.

I was recently sent a little complimentary basket of them to try, and when they arrived in my hot little hands I suspected that they had come to me in a hot little van. Something was amiss…

Something doesn't seem quite right...

Luckily I didn’t have long to contemplate their flat demeanour before another basket turned up the following week, and I was able to compare the different bunny species.

Fat and skinny went to a dance...

Yep, looks like we have a case of Chocolate Runniness Actuated by Postage in Summer. You may recall I have fallen victim to CRAPS in the past with the Foodie Exchange I did with Mardi, and I also remember back to when I was living in Sweden and my Mum sent me a care package that included a box of Tim Tam balls that had all melted together to form a giant mass of chocolate and biscuit that I had to gnaw at.

One of these things is not like the other, one of these things just doesn't belong...

Opening up the foil revealed CRAPS induced bunnicide. Oh dear. Still, there is something quite alluring about that goopy chocolate with the little malty balls ever so slightly revealed. Like when a lady is completely covered except for her ankles, or when a gentleman.. um, ahem.

Harder, better, faster, stronger?

I opened up another non-melty bunny and couldn’t believe my eyes – it was the ultra limited edition Daft Punk Bunny!!!

After dancing D.P. Bunny around for a little while I thought I’d best get a little more intimately aquainted with the other bunnies, and found that the melty/non-melty dichotomy deepened as I did so.

The chocolate of the melted version remained soft and goopy, and the malty innards were a continuation of this – crunchy little malt balls surrounded in a creamy malty goo, then creamy goopy chocolate. The innards of the harder bunny were also very malty, but much drier and pasty – almost a little powdery.

Given that it looked a fair bit drier than in this review by Kath of Gone Chocco,  I suspected that although the fat bunnies had seemingly survived the heat, they had gotten carried away dancing to D.P. Bunny and let themselves get dehydrated.

Goopy melty vs. irresponsible boogier

Despite the fact these bunnies were apparently either deceased or a little under the weather, I actually enjoyed them. I know, I know.. my chocolate of choice is something dark and bitter, but I also must confess to love  for the standard sweet milky variety, and I’m a sucker for anything malty so it’s no surprise these hit a spot after I’d spent all day either cooking in the kitchen or preparing the rest of the house for a rent inspection. I wanted to bust out a glass of Milo to wash them down with to complete the malty quinella.

Would I buy these as a gift? I doubt it. Might I  sneak one in my shopping for some sugary mid-arvo childhood reminiscing? Probably. They are only a dollar and I need to find the partner to D.P. Bunny #1.

Oh, and I got my housemate to try both varieties and she declared the non-melty version to taste like Maltesers, and the melty version to taste like melted Maltesers.

One more time we're gonna masticate, oh yeah, all right, don't stop the chomping